So i dint want to accly write it down but this time it's my husband who wanted me to.
I've been having this wierd feeling since the last few days. I'm drowsy most of the times. Sleep my true best friend has become my bestest friend but unfortunately chocolate by bestest friend is not so very good with me. It hasn't been a time until these days, when i dint throw the wrapper around me finishing the chocolate given to me within few minutes. I have one lying in my bag since 3 days. Those who know me well might be thinking I'm dying.
I don't feel like eating anything but i have this craving for it. I never thought that one of my favourite past time of watching recipe videos would want me to puke. The sight of any food makes me nauseating. There you are getting it. This nausea , continuous nausea round the clock. The peeling of an orange giving me such a nice serene feel. The citrus pleasures I call it now. All i can accept eating is an orange or drinking lemon water. Eating every 2 hours is like a punishment now. But that anxiety behind the mind to do everything correctly and stick to the diet so that it's good for the two of us is even more anxiety.
With that same anxiety of getting a scan done as suggested by my doctor to check for the viability and heart beat like 2 weeks after i knew the reason for the nausea, i couldn't sleep the previous night. The last 2 weeks all i did was to open books & journals which i once read in the 4th year of MBBS. The biggest mistake. It only made me more concerned.
As planned, my husband and I went to the hospital for the scan. I was scared. Very scared. I wasn't talking much that morning. My mind was everywhere else where it shouldn't be. I basically wanted everything to be right, normal and healthy .
After lying down on the examination bed on the right side of the radiologist seat and screen, i was stiff. Stiff scared. Except for my eyes wandering I dint move at all. I could just see my husband's face. He was anxious too. I could see it on his face. As the scan was going on, my heartbeat was racing. I was just looking at my husband who had the view of the radiologists screen. His anxious face slowly, slowly turned into a smile. A straight to curve. That 30 seconds I would give anything for it. Imprinted in my brain. Gone was all my anxiety and nervousness. I was happy. I knew everything was alright. I relaxed. The radiologist later showed me the heartbeat of our miracle. Happiness was in leaps and bounds. A little dramatic but i had tears . Happy tears. Everything else is worth this.
Both of us stepped out of the room and just smiled at each other. It's like eyes talk, heart talks . We are no longer just two. We are three. ❤️
No comments:
Post a Comment