Sad, scared and sorry

What happened in Hyderabad to a woman is happening elsewhere in some form or the other. It feels very sad and i dont know Just sad.

Encounter of the rapists is not just the correct justice we should or she should get. I was probably happy for just those few 10 seconds. But somehow I feel sad for her. Justice is when such things are prevented or stopped from occurring. I just feel this encounter is to wash off the guilt the police had in themselves for not doing what they had to do at the right time. Only their guilt was served justice. I don't feel secured yet, just because 4 rapists were encountered. I probably will when all the rapists are encountered. If the police had acted so efficiently on that day, she would have been alive. Why is it that only in movies we see such situations to be handled even before they occur? The Unnao victim was burnt ? Who is our government or justice protecting? 

Have been hearing many such incidents in the past, to be frank none of those affected me personally like this. Like i would feel bad for few days, cry, hope and pray for them. But I was never scared to walk out alone or it dint effect my daily routine. 

This time, probably because it happened in my city, the place where i grew up, which i thought was very safe proved me wrong. 

I was thinking until recently that I am a very strong woman, i go to the gym regularly, pretty strong enough to tackle a man or probably two. If attacked anytime, I would think I should first kick his groins, poke my nails directly into his eyes and run away. What if I'm outnumbered ? Will a pepper spray or 100 save me ? 

Just 4 days ago , I had to buy medicines but as the medical store near my house dint have a parking space, I parked my car a little ahead . Walking those 650metres was the first time I encountered this fear in me. With that constant fear i was looking around at people i was passing by. To my fear I had to cross a group of young labour boys smoking cigars. Each face of theirs looked like a rapist to me. A rapist face in my mind are the ones of nirbaya or disha's.  Why should I be so frightened? They might be good people or bad people or just people.  I was praying to be safe all through that 650metres to and fro. I kept telling myself it's just 8.30 pm, my mind said disha happened at 9.30 pm . So many women work at night shifts, how scared should they be ? 

On my way back home i had these thoughts which made me feel helpless. 

1) I should have ordered medicines home, but again I even had got sexual harrassment messages and calls from delivery boys too in the previous 1 year.(not once,twice)

2) Then the thought of having ordered them with instructions to deliver the medicines to our security had crossed my mind. But our security drinks almost everyday and even raises his hand on his wife. How do i trust him either ?

So ultimately I can't trust young boys or drunk people or the matter of fact any man i dont know. 

 Do we have to be dependent on our fathers or brothers or husband for even such minor things ?   What is women empowerment then ? 

3 month old to 65 year old grand mothers are not spared. Why ? 

What should change ? Should girls just stop stepping out of their houses or should the boys be educated enough to be able to differentiate between sexual pleasure and sexual harrasments? 

Call 100, carrying pepper sprays, syringes, knifes, does this only imply that we are safe ? I somehow feel every women should be given a gun and they will seek their own justice. Instead of playing "no smoking" advertisements before every movie in the theatres, videos of how rapists will be treated for their heinous crimes should be played. 

When i read advices from people saying she should have called 100 instead of her sister, it reminded me of the incident I encountered. Once when i ordered something online and after the delivery was done, I got a message from the delivery executive saying hi. I ignored it. I was assuming a feedback column will be asked later. The next day i again got a msg saying hi teja. I ignored it again wondering how does he know my name. I assumed probably from the app i ordered. After 10 minutes i get obscene messages from that guy for which I had to take an action.

 I immediately made many calls to get the number of the owner of that food delivery chain. The owner a very nice person took this personally and went to the police station himself to take necessary actions. Ultimately i get a call that i have to go to the police station too as a victim to file a case. By the time we reached the station, the owner and his friends were waiting for us (my husband and me ). I was very thankful for what the owner has done.  He said he has a baby girl and what was done to me is just not acceptable. 

The delivery boy deleted his messages from his phone, which anyway the cyber crime can retrieve. 

The police gave me 2 options 

1) File a FIR against the delivery boy, but he will come out by bail in a week. And then we can take it to court ,but madam you have to keep coming to the court everytime called and you should be explaining everything to them in detail everytime. 

2) we can give him a warning and leave him tomorrow morning. 

I was scared. My main concern was that the delivery executive knows where I live, what if he comes home sometime when my husband is not around ?  My another concern was why should i be answerable to all of them when i had given them enough evidence about the harrasment why should i be explaining myself in court ? I really felt that the police themselves portrayed the 1st option in a way that i will not opt for it, reasons unknown. Even if i file an FIR,the boy gets released anyway in a week, and he would definitely hold a grudge against me and end up infront of my house. I was confused, scared. I did not file an FIR. I was told to call 100 for any emergency. I did not have a peaceful sleep for almost a month later. 

I can't change the rules and laws. Nor does voicing what's in my mind changes anything. I just want everyone like me to feel safe. I should be scared of my sins but not someone's sins. 

I do not want to be weak. I do not want to be taken for granted. I do not want to be scared. I want to live. Sexual harrasments occur to both men and women. But the men numbers are negligible.

Education is not the only solution for this, such things happen even in high well educated societies. I don't know what is. I hope the intellectuals do something strong against it. 

A No is a No 

Day 4

13/11/19

Childhood memories. Always cherished and loved. How many of you ask your parents or grandparents how you looked like or what your mannerisms were when you were a child ? Have you ever asked your parents how they looked like and did when they were children? I love to listen to such real life stories. If you haven't that's the next first thing you should do ! 

Today after dinner with curry dried hands, a sister like friend and me sit across my father and listen to his tales. I have heard them many times before, but there is always something new and interesting about it. Probably cause we didn't have the same childhood of theirs.

The concept of higher education began only with my parents in their families. My father had to walk long distances just to go to school, live in other places for attending college. The amount of work they did/do is just negligible to what I do now. At the age of 15 that effort 🙏. They knew the importance of money and more importantly education. Doing engineering then was a very big thing. And after that IIT for MTech is like the top most. His aim was straight at that and he did it. 

He was telling how important college lectures were. Their written notes were textbooks. None of them purchased textbooks.  Either cause they weren't available or were very expensive. Only few were available in the library of even such prestigious institutes. No one could afford missing a class. So much knowledge in just one hour. Everyone almost had 96% attendance. The main purpose of ragging was to let to know someone and help them come out of the shell. Everyone was new. Everyone was friendly and helpful.

3 Rs / day - hostel mess charges 

1200rs/ 6 months - college + personal expenses 

And for us a pizza delivery is 1200 for a meal. 

I am always surprised to how did we make our own world so expensive.

3 hours just flew by.

#okbye. 

Day 3

Day 3 

12/11/19

I think I'm already bored of this. Blogging. Not bored but it's like I'm doing it for the sake. So soon! How do they write novels ? Patience has to appreciated.😃

Blessing, home is blessing. I don't know why but i sleep very peacefully here. I'm a very light sleeper usually. I wake up even to the slightest bit of sound, but now my room in Hyderabad is like sound proof to my mind. No body enters/ wakes me up until i step out. Holiday ! Again high five to the like-minded clan . 

After i wake up at my own ease, having homemade dosa with chutney is like a best start. With both parents who work, the house is all to me. I continue reading my novel in peace. In Bangalore im most of the time alone at home, but this peace i have here is incomparable. I had this sudden urge of doing something. So i order lamb mince and chicken via licious and go back to the reading.

Meanwhile I ask our househelp to cut the required Vegetables. Cooking here has never been an option. My mother would never allow me to even cut Vegetables forget about cooking. In this matter my mother-in-law never allowed me to enter the kitchen too. I am pampered here and there. Being a chicken lover, I've only learnt how to make chicken curry. And later rest added one by one. But once i started cooking, I learnt that i love cooking for someone. I love that appreciation. There are days I wait for my husband to taste. That waiting is like looking, but pretending not to look at each and every expression of his, like a duck looking here and there in a pool of water. Sometimes he appreciates immediately and ofcourse sometimes i have to ask. Ultimately appreciation is important. Never did he complain. Even if it's salty or spicy or bland or sour . But How much do we humans crave for it. The appreciation.  

So today I make mutton kheema. Today I was craving for my father's. To top this feeling, when everyone appreciate the aroma which filled the house. Aha ! Tummy filled with appreciation. 

#okbye 

Day 2

11/11/19

A day of apace I must say. 

It's like this everytime I plan a holiday home. 

Have 3 pending week-offs which have to be taken before the 20th of this month. As usual I prefer going home (Hyderabad) rather than sitting here in Bangalore and irritating my husband by calling him every hour or two past lunch to ask when or how early can he be home. I know that it will be his same usual time, but still I'm bored so I call him.😃 🤷🏻‍♀️. 1 day is fine, 3 days of me staying here at home without work can be hazardous for both of us🤣. I have just realised that I haven't been here in Bangalore at home without going to work for more than a day continuous except for once when i was sick. 

But yeah I'm a very lazy person. I don't pack my bags days in advance. I pack them on the day of journey, if possible hours⏱️ before. High five ✋to the like-minded clan. It's basically dumping everything in my near sight into the suitcase 🛄 I decide to take. Yes dumping. So the day starts with a rush. 

After the dumping and giving the maid clear instructions as to what she has to cook for my husband morning and night during my absence which she anyway forgets and ends up calling me to ask, i rush to check the last minute essentials - wallet with an ID , sunscreen, earphones & a novel 📓. I was searching for a novel i started reading a year ago but haven't completed it yet as i forgot about it. I forget a lot of things. It's a blessing. I head to work with my luggage as i can go to the airport directly from there ,that way i skip the bangalore traffic, save 3-4 hours of my time and most importantly I'm home(Hyderabad) for dinner. Ah ! Homemade food, the importance of which I've understood only after shifting to Bangalore 2 1/2 years ago. Shoot ! Already.

At work, Mondays are usually not so busy. Probably cos Saturday & Sunday are bottle neck. I open facebook in which we have a dermatology group which is like very very active with daily posts of cases and scenarios. I scroll down that page for a while and then head back to the main home page where to my surprise I get advertisements of good reads and novels. What the heck !!! I dint name "novel" out . How did my phone pick it up ? From my brain ? How ? What's all this artificial intelligence (AI) about ? It's surely not a coincidence. But i wonder why did my phone just pick up novels ,not the other things I've been dealing with since morning. Is it like the eyes see what the brain wants or the AI shows what the brain wants ? 

Had many such similar situations in the past. Think of shopping, shopping advertisements pop up, think of kitchenware and they pop up, think of travelling and travel ideas, agencies pop up, think of experimenting a dish and that recipe pops up, think of going out for a play/movie and events pop up . My phone is haunted and so is yours ! But how ? Haven't you faced this ? Hell, yes. 

Artificial intelligence over human intelligence. And yeah I forgot to carry my home packed lunch. How absent-minded  🤯 can I be ? Last time when my husband did this, I was so furious that i planned to give him an empty lunch box 🍱 next day with a slip in it saying "opps i forgot to pack food" 😃🤷🏻‍♀️. But when it's me, nah people forget, that's ok i was busy right ?  

I'd probably get ads on food delivery apps now. 😃

#okbye 

Day 1

10/11/19

So i thought why don't I write something everyday.

Try till i can, ofcourse until i forget. 

Being a Sunday , I woke up late than the usual as the traffic for work is negligible. 12-15 mins is all it takes on a Sunday , weekdays are multiplied by 3-5-6 times courtesy - the great Bengaluru traffic. 

After all the snoozing, waking up, getting ready and having breakfast is like run for your pajamas speed. I head to work quite energetic and calm, promising myself to get back home asap. 

I dint want to listen to the radio chatter today nor just drive muted. I took my phone opened the music aap Saavn, an old friend. I wanted to listen to some not-so-recent not-so-old songs which were on my repeat mode earlier. I directly proceeded to the playlists and randomly clicked a playlist and a song in it without giving myself a chance to choose. "Sooraj dooba hai -from Roy " was on. Wow what a great start i thought. I don't know if i was listening to the lyrics or my mind was wandering somewhere. The next automatic shuffle song was "Maahi ve from highway ".

Whilst driving and listening to this song on the middle of a flyover, I notice 2 men, only the one on the right was clearly visible to me and a head towards his left. The first man was obstructing my view of the other. I think I noticed them as it's odd to see anyone walk/stand on the flyover. 

What i even noticed was that this person on the right was raising his hand ,the Indian way of asking the driving people to stop their vehicles so that they can cross the road. I was a little annoyed and anxious as to why did he want to cross the road on a flyover . He could have rather done it before taking the flyover or after getting down or when he is a pedestrian why did he in the first place even take a flyover. 

I passed them and out of curiosity I don't know why but i looked into the rear mirror . I was caught off guard to see that the person on the left is a physically handicapped person who clearly dint have clear vision and had a stick in his right hand.  A bike was parked beside. 

At once I had sympathy and admiration towards both of them . I really appreciated the right person for helping an unknown person on road. I had a precise moment of thought of helping him,which i anyway dint. Thinking and actually doing it are two different scenarios. Many of us think, but only few of us do. Very few of us stop and help. Just because we emphathize with them we think we are good people, but no acting on it makes the difference. May god bless him.

 

How difficult it must be for the blind. He probably dint know that he was on a flyover. He must have thought it's the straight main road itself and was trying to cross it. What if this person dint stop to help him? He would have definitely figured out a way like he had been doing it since quite a while , but still that scare, anxiety and helplessness must have shadowed him. I later recollected that I've seen this same person few days ago in that very next street selling newspapers. 

That disability of his dint stop him in anyway. He dint stay back at home, he woke up like anyone of us and headed to work. I was proud of him, very proud of him.

I thanked God for my life and all that he has given me. 

#okbye 

Perspective

Every persoñ has a different perspective on a situation. 

That same person might have 3-4 perspectives on that same situation on different occasions.

Why are we humans so confused ? Or should I say Hijacked my our own emotions.

How many of you actually put yourself in that situation and reciprocate accordingly. I do that almost all the time, which has its own disadvantages about which we can discuss later . But seriously how many of you do. I feel we should be doing more of it than judging the other, and concluding self made decisions. And how many of us don't step into their shoes when we don't want to? I do this too. It has its own advantages trust me. 

Let's discuss a scenario like that. 

So being in a new apartment which still dint percur a permanent electric connection and runs on a temporary connection it's quite taxing most of the days as there is continuous tripping of power during the peaks hours. Just 3-4 days ago, after one such hectic day at work, and an even more patient drive of 100 minutes to home (to be honest I enjoy this "me,my thoughts,my music,my phone calls" time,I've learnt to), and a very grumpy stomach, I got back home to these continuous tripping. I was cursing my maid for not having cooked anything yet,my husband for still being at the hospital, my owner for not fixing the power problem,myself for which i dont currently remember. I could neither use the microwave nor the electric rice cooker.  

The easiest of all options," technology" helps only when it wants to, just like us. 

So with that grumpy face and stomach i head to the kitchen,turned on the stove and did an hour of something edible to eat. Meanwhile the grumpy stomach gave up on its hunger and the owner of it (like i gave up on ours )but the face refused to. 

Few minutes later I realise that all the time the power wasn't up and it was on the UPS savior which definitely wouldn't last as long as a deep sleep after a tummy full meal. 

My deary husband walks into the house right after. I asked him to call the watchman to fix up the issue. I dint stop there i continued " he must be drunk somewhere or having a gala time with his friends". 

" I don't know what work he does here. "I continued.

 I still dint have the intention to stop but my husband interrupted my continued verbal outflow. "Don't come to such harsh conclusions". He said. Oh he is a saint. 

 Eventually my outflow had to come out. So I ignored his and continued " the corridors are never neat, what are maintenance charges for & blah blah blah ". I basically dint want to step in their shoes.

An almost similar situation happened yesterday. But this time my response was totally different and so was my husband's. 

So after another similar day at work I go to have dinner with my husband at his place of work as he wasn't coming home that night (on a night duty)

My the time i was home the tripping of power was in a rythmically mispelled continuity. I somehow ignored it as i was seriously having an everyday bound useless chatter with mom on the phone. After hours later of regular basis of household stuff, I realised that the power was on UPS since a real long time. The first instinct was to call my husband to inform him. But really? What was i thinking? what could he possibly do?he was at his work doing his doctorly duties. I usually do things on my own unless I'm lazy or i fell that the opposite person is lazy. Should think of this next time before i call him.

He insisted that I immediately call the watchman and ask him to fix it. It was late at night . But this time my response was " No it's ok he must be tired sleeping. I don't feel good disturbing him ". This time I put myself in that situation. He is a very nice helpful cheerful person just trying to fit himself and his family in the race. 

It's the same situation, same watchman, almost same time. But yesterday was a good day.  And my actions were based on how my day went, how peaceful my mind was, ultimately based on how selfish i wanted to be on that day. 

My state of mind changes my perspective. 

Amma

Amma one word

Amma is my everything, my sentiment, my best friend, my critic , mine

Being grown up in a family where education was given the atmost importance, My mother did her best  for my brother and me. She is discipline. She wanted to become a doctor, as she couldn't, she made me one by my choice. She used to study for us, write questions,ask answers. We never had to go to tuitions until the IIT running race set in. My mother was our teacher at home. Father the mathematician. I used to think of her as a strict mom, but now I know that she was very generous with us, my kids are going to feel hell and pray that I land up in hell.

She is a very passionate and Challenging woman who did her MCA when we were in our 7th grade. My dad is a very supportive person. She managed our home, her studies ( was the university topper) , our studies, dad and his office all together, meanwhile helping everyone who have asked for help. She keeps us in place. It's a chaos otherwise.

Ammaaaaaaaa You are my role model amma. You have set the standard high.

Thank you for teaching me to not settle for anything less than I deserve. You have taught me to raise my point open in the world, even if the entire world is against it. You have taught me to stand by the right. You have taught me that there is so much happiness in giving.  Most importantly you have taught me how to forgive. You have taught me that even when people around us try to bring us down, noone can do anything to us unless we give up.You never gave up nor will I. Do good, be good, be happy - principles you have taught us. 

How can you be so patient?how do you know what we want even without us asking?  How could you forgive me for all the things I did ? How can you forgive me for all the harsh words I said ? How can you be so giving ? I remember the days when you used to scold Anna and me for the silly things we did ,and end up crying and feeling bad. 

I remember once during my teenage when I said " all mother's do everything that you do" .
No amma . All don't. I'm sorry I din't know then. I din't mean them too.  I can't imagine how hurt you must have been. I'm sorry amma.

Nanagaru and you have given us all that we wanted even if it was difficult for you . We are always your priority. Is that what parents do ? I don't think I can even be 1/100th good as a parent as both of you are.

Thank you for being my best friend,for being friends with my friends, for being there for me, for believing me and giving me the freedom to be an independent woman. I'm one of the few lucky ones who could discuss proposals to crushes with a mother.

Even before I knew what was good for me, you would let me choose what I want. You have let me learn from experience, being my pillar. Nanagaru & you have changed and evolved for us . You dint stay back like parents of 1960's . That transition is difficult . A generation difficult. But both of you did that for us. Thank you.

Both of you have taught us that people & feelings are important not materials. I wish we never forget such high morals.

Be the same person you are since the past 52 years. Not even a day goes by without thinking of nanagaru and you amma. You are my strength. I miss both of you & I love you more than you know. Happy birthday amma . May God bless you with happiness and health . You are the best. My nanagaru is the best too. Thank you for choosing us over everything else.

With best regards

Dear human,

Just cause you don't understand me, you cannot break my home

I have a family, a bunch of friends too

I have a life

I have a home

I don't interfere in yours ,then why are you?

I am thirsty now, I'm scared to even find out about my near & dear. What if I can't see them ever ? What if I can't survive this ? Oh do you care ?
We don't have emergency services like you do.

We don't have insurances.

We don't even have anyone to heal us. Aren't you the superiors? Aren't you the ones to help us ? Was God wrong ? Are you jealous of our peaceful world ? Can't you do your part ?

I can't see, I can't breathe, I'm thirsty, I'm sick, I'm helpless, I'm stuck,I'm dead to you

Isn't it a give and take policy? Did we harm you so much ?

I pray God decides and destines us better in the next life. I pray I'm never born as a human.

Regards,
Animals & birds

Never

Never said, never explained

Said, but never explained

Never say, never explained

Death

What does it do ? It takes away a person,a part from your life . You cannot see that person anymore, you cannot talk / fight/ laugh / cry/ play with that person anytime later. How traumatic can that be ?  Who can fill that gap ?Noone . Every person is unique and has a role to play. It changes everything. It can never be the same. No matter how many happy occasions come later, that void is never filled.

And when a person knows about his/ her time left to be in this universe? What would that person be through that time? How scared that person must have been?How much would that person wish to live ? How guilty she would be ?  How much she would blame himself or others? How angry she would be? I currently know one such person. It pinches hard in my heart to even think of her, her family, her existence.  Why ? Why so much trauma? Why so much hope ?

Every human has a side you like and a side you dislike. Why look at the negative always ? Why are we so greedy for everything ?

We run so much in this race , that we stopped loving people,telling them how important they are, how much we appreciate them in our lives.

Death never really takes away a person.

Dear husband

Hallooo,

I am blessed to have known you, to be called as your wife.

I believe in destiny. Many say love marriages are always better than arranged. But I think a love marriage is also destined by God. God has made their paths cross. Its all already decided.

God has written this for us. And it's the best. I kept wondering about the help and service my parents do and would even scold them many times for going far beyond what they can, to help others.  All my mother would say is "it's for you kids, we do this. We hope God sees you good".  I dint understand this then . But now I know.  God has given me you. 

I had already decided that it's you before we met. I believed that I would meet a guy only if I'm sure of spending the rest of my life with him. I din't want to hurt someone's feelings if I wasn't ready in the first.

When I told this to my mom she asked me what if the guy isn't ready and he says no after you meet?.

I said " I would respect that definitely, but from my end I will not be telling a no to the person I meet, I will only meet him if I am ready to be married to him ." I already had a no . So I know how it feels. I din't want someone to go through that drama.

So after a 3 months of thought I have decided to meet you. And it was a yes from me. Poor you,who dint know about it. I still remember the way I was scared on the day we met . (Me out of all, scared of a person ? Hàhah can you imagine?I couldn't even wear my earings, I was shivering )  I probably was scared of rejection, scared if my choice was right. After those initial two meetings, I had the clarity I needed.

We have the best parents. They met you/me,only after we decided to get married. That's like 2 months after we met. That's the confidence they have on us. We definitely will keep up to it. 

How can you be so patient? So caring ? So loving? So irritating? So calm even if my words are hurtful ? So positive? So composed even when I say nasty things?  So peaceful? So positive? So so so lazy ?

I just remembered a day when we were passing by a road and I showed you a very high tower building and told you the price of an apartment in it.
You just caught my hand and said " you be beside me, we can afford all that "
I was very happy,v v happy, not cos you assured that you will buy me that, but that, that confidence you have, that constant feeling of you wanting to be with me, that power you inculcated in me made me proud.
Like I always say "All I need and want is OUR time,nothing else , no material,no money, no gold,no property, nothing else-just time" 💌

I still keep wondering of the days were you could have raised your voice for the things I did , but you dint.

The times were you could choose things you love , but dint and ended up with my favourite things.

Do you remember how much respect I would show while talking to you, and then you asked me to talk normally like how I would with anyone. Don't you regret this now ? Haven't i gone out of board ? Orai? Abheyo? Endi bey? Po bey ? Don't you still feel "Andi " was better ? 😂

It is really difficult to live with someone like me. Very unstable. You somehow survive it all well. 😀
And well I'm doing a great job keeping up with you too. Admit it.

That's all for now. I'd keep adding love & hatred in this all through our lives. Click more pictures ❣️

Dont disappoint me now by doing something stupid to make me regret writing all this .

Please exercise and let's get healthy together. Do you really want any one of us to be stuck with medicines and bed? 🙈

Tata,💌
Same pinch 😀

Smile

Smile

That brightness which makes anyone beautiful, which can turn anything into anything

is it for real ? or is it a materialistic thing ?

the smile you see on a kids face seeing his/her father come home.(The love)

the smile you see on a girl waving her friend accross the street.(The love)

the smile you see on a person's face when you thank him/her.(The humane)

the smile you see on person when you have asked for forgiveness.( The humane)

the smile you see on a mothers face when the doctor operating on her kid tells her that the surgery was eventful. (The sacred)

the smile you see on a stranger just cause you gave him way on the path.  ( The humane)

the smile you see on a grandmother watching her grand children play in the portico.(The love)

the smile you see on a farmer after harvest.(The pride)

the smile you see on a husband's face  watching his wife sleep on his lap.(The love)

the smile you see in the eyes of a father for the success of his son/daughter.(The pride)

the smile you see on your mother's face watching the empty dishes after you have eaten the meal she has carefully prepared for you. (The love)

the smile you see on a girl wearing her mother's saree and posing in front of the mirror .(The love)

the smile you see on your brother after his mischevious act on you while you crib .(The care)

the smile you see on a girl by just seeing the sun rise and set .(The FEEL)

the smile you see on a boy when he wins his first video game . ( The king)

the smile you see on a woman when the neighborhood kids wait up for her everyday to wave her hi and bye before she heads to work. (The humane)

the smile you see on a parent watching an unknown person praise his/her son/daughter for a humane reason. (The pride)

the smile you see on a wife when her husband kisses her forehead.(That FEEL)

the smile you see on an aunt who is waiting for her neice at the railway station to pick her up .( The love)

the smile you see on a father just watching her sister walk into his house. (The love)

the smile you see on a friend when you call her just to check on her.( The love)

the smile you see on a husband when he comes home to see his favourite dish cooked by his wife.(The love)

the smile you see on a husband secretly admiring his over enthusiastic wife. (The FEEL)

the smile you see on a friend when her friend tells her to fasten her seatbelt before she starts driving .(The care)

the smile you see on a son who watches his mother selfishly hiding the last piece of sweet or cake for his father.( The love)

the smile you see on a professor watching his student win a prize for the best thesis. (The pride)

the smile you see on a boy, when his father repairs his toy car. (The love)

the smile you see on a husband, while his wife is feeding him food. (The care)

the smile you see on a wife, when her husband randomly calls her in the middle of the day. (The love)

the smile you see on a mother, when she looks at the clock, after she hears the phone ring knowing that its her daughter calling to check on her daily. (The care)

the smile you see on a mother , while her girl is combing her hair and helping her to get ready for a party.( The pride)

the smile you see on a sister while she tells her friends about her brother's achievement.(The love)

the smile you see on a brother, when his sister tells him that she stocked the food he likes in the fridge. (The care)

I don't call that love, that care, that pride, that humane nature , that smile materialistic. Its a FEELING all together

Will be continued

.........

Time

Time does not include the clock ,the seconds , the minutes ,the hours ,the days, the years .

It's the people, the relationships,
The learnings,
The downfalls and the importance of entire life.

It helps you in being a better person every second, every minute, every hour, every day, every year round the clock. 

Don't ever regret the time spent .

What makes us human

I was just watching something online and this ad pops up - what makes us human is the first frame.  My mind thinks ,I dint bother to watch the rest of the ad

Is it
The happiness,
The love
The giving
The caring
The anger
The pain
The perseverance
The dedication
The sadness
The jealousy
The eagerness
The anxiety
The lust
The determination
The power
The sharing
The intelligence
The hunger
The fear
The sacredness
The mistakes
The forgiveness
The people
The struggle

???

I think it's all the above in one !

Moon

Moon is that one material in this universe I've always loved

May be cause he was always there in a very mysterious way up in the sky, always there

May be cause I assume that he would listen to all my thoughts

May be cause he always made me calm and thoughtful

May be cause there was some kind of peace and silence

May be cause he would even entertain me with a pick-a-boo

May be cause he was joy in the darkness

May be cause, moon is moon - The MOON

You will never know

You will never know if its the time 

You will never know if its the truth 

You will never know if that was for good 

You will never know whats in store for you

You will never know even after its done 

You will never know all thats done 

You will never know if all was a lie 

You will never know if there was some truth 

You will never know what you see 

You will never know what you havent seen 

You will never know the path of destiny

You will never know what you actually want

You will never know the real 

You will never know who you are

You will never know my thoughts

You will never know how much time you have got 

You will never know until you try 

You will never know what its like 

You will never know how it is to be the other one 

You will never know who i was 

You will never know how we have changed 

You will never know if its worth it 

You will never know what went wrong 

You will never ever know why

You will never know how you live 

You will never know to believe that you arent important

You will never know what a promise means

You will never know how it feels like to know the truth after a broken promise

You will never know how everything turns out to be perfect

I will never know